


if you say so

by fruti2flutie



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, Lowercase, M/M, non au which means younghoon's crush on kevin is VALID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 05:37:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16696456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruti2flutie/pseuds/fruti2flutie
Summary: younghoon likes kevin's...





	if you say so

**Author's Note:**

> -repetitive & not very original, i'm not even sure there's a plot, but i love bbangmoon more than myself so Here We Are  
> -took creative liberty with everything bc idk how k-pop training & life works!!!  
> -title from ["let me" by golden child](https://youtu.be/mGdsghfV1ow)  
> -did u know that if u put together bread and the moon u get a croissant & i think that's beautiful (thnx @andy)  
> -anyway! can't wait for tbz comeback in a week! happy reading owo

“i like your voice.”

kevin looks up, fingers poised to play a chord, and meets the eyes of someone towering over him. it’s a person he’s seen around the company in passing — tall, handsome, always in a practice room. another trainee, whose name escapes him. kevin has only been here a week and is still learning how to cross the congested streets of seoul without getting hit by a taxi.

right now, kevin is in the practice room used for dancing, mirrors lining the walls, sitting on the bench with his mpk mini in his lap. the staff told him that, outside of lessons, he could go wherever he wants as long as he stays inside the company. he’d picked this room because he likes the echo as he sings, laptop open and keyboard plugged in. albeit, he wasn’t expecting an audience.

“thank you,” he says, smiling cautiously. he hasn’t talked to many of the other trainees, too clumsy with korean to sound natural, so he’s careful of what he says. he doesn’t want to offend or make a bad impression. he’s out of his element, thousands of miles from his comfort zone.

eager, the trainee asks, “you’re moon hyungseo, right?”

mildly surprised, kevin nods. he wasn’t too sure how many people knew him from _k-pop star 6_. he tells the trainee to call him by his english name instead; kevin’s tv presence was brief and in the past, and he’s trying to stay in the present. plus, no one calls him “hyungseo,” aside from his parents, and he doesn’t want to make it a habit here.

“kevin! moon kevin. i got it.” the trainee points a finger at himself. “do you know who i am?”

kevin knows a grand total of ten people at cre.ker entertainment, which includes several trainees. however, the names _jacob_ and _eric_ don’t match with this guy.

“i’m sorry, but i don’t...”

the trainee looks disappointed, but he still shows kevin a bright smile as he introduces readily, “i’m kim younghoon. a few years back, i got scouted eating bread at a convenience store.”

“bread?” what a strange way to become an idol. kevin laughs, unable to help himself, and younghoon takes the chance to sidle next to him.

“that’s a keyboard, right? can you play a song for me, please?” younghoon’s hands fold in front of him, almost childlike. “i like dean. do you know dean?”

it’s not often kevin takes requests from strangers, but this feels different. younghoon is another trainee, which means he’s a potential rival, coworker, and teammate all rolled into one. kevin has heard stories of veteran trainees missing the cut to debut, replaced or pushed aside by fresh meat. he wonders how long exactly younghoon has been waiting, if he sees kevin more as a rival than a teammate.

with the imploring gaze and an innocent curiosity, maybe younghoon sees kevin as a friend.

kevin attempts to play the melody for “D (half moon)” but misses a few notes in between. younghoon doesn’t mind and, when kevin opens his mouth to sing the phrases, he’s starstruck.

——

lessons with other trainees are nothing new. after a few months with cre.ker, kevin has learned that he’s ahead of the game. he’d started training his vocals with trainees of two years or more experience. with his dancing, though he’s not the best, he’d done so well during the basics that they’d let him train at a higher level, too. he doesn’t even need proper english lessons; growing up in vancouver came in handy. there’s talk that he’s going to be in the upcoming boy group, but he can’t say for certain.

today, the skin of his hands stained with ink, kevin is practicing his penmanship. officially, it’s the biweekly english lesson, but to him, who can spell _supercalifragilisticexpialidocious_ with his eyes closed, it’s a chance to do the opposite and work on his korean. the instructor is teaching pretty regular material: conversational phrases, foods, etc. sangyeon, jaehyun, younghoon, and chanhee are in the classroom, all with notebooks and pens.

during a break in the lesson, kevin feels a tap on his shoulder. next to him is younghoon, holding a mechanical pencil, pointing to kevin’s paper. the other three trainees are talking about a group performance they have to do for an evaluation tomorrow. kevin isn’t all that close to these trainees yet, still more comfortable with the ones he can converse fluently with, so he tenses at the sudden interaction.

“i like your handwriting,” younghoon declares.

kevin looks at younghoon, then down at his notebook, then at younghoon again. “are you sure?” a pathetic excuse for the word _pomegranate_ is rewritten three times, each one more confused than the last. “i think i spelled this wrong.”

“yeah, you did. you forgot the—” younghoon writes in a line on one of kevin’s characters. “there. all good.” he laughs. “but it’s pretty,” he says.

“it’s pretty messy,” kevin murmurs. “even in english.”

younghoon’s entire body shakes as he exclaims, “oh! write me something in english!”

kevin’s mind blanks. “what should i... uh, i can write your name?” younghoon nods excitedly, so kevin does just that (even though _kim younghoon_ isn’t technically english). he writes the letters, as neat as he can, and puts down his pen once he’s done.

“whoa, that’s my name,” younghoon marvels. it makes kevin embarrassed; the only accomplishment he can take from this is spelling it right. he’s pretty sure younghoon is impressed with anything he does.

maybe it’s because kevin is foreign. or, well, maybe younghoon is just easily impressed.

“hey, kevin, look!”

kevin glances at younghoon, who’s grinning from ear-to-ear, and follows his finger to where it’s pointed on the page. it’s marked in pencil, written precisely, characters straight-edged and small.

문케빈.

“that’s... my name,” kevin says, amused.

“i wrote it.” younghoon’s grin is so unabashedly pure that it makes kevin smile, too.

“hey, hyung, do you want to see something cool?” kevin asks. younghoon blinks, confused, but he nods.

kevin’s sketchbook and pencil case are at the dorm, but he can still make do. he loves calligraphy writing, with colors and pens of all kind, and is artistic by nature. although he’s not the best, he’s skilled enough to turn to a new page and use his cheap gel pen to write _younghoon_ in a font he’s practiced since high school. it turns out okay — better, even, than what he’d expected. he doodles pieces of toast around the name and finishes it off with a croissant.

“all done.”

younghoon gasps. he grabs kevin’s notebook with both hands, goes silent for a solid twenty seconds, and then whispers, “can i keep it?”

“yeah, sure.” kevin watches younghoon tear out the page with the same level of caution as bomb deactivation. “i can draw you another one, y’know.”

“i like this one,” younghoon says. kevin notices he doesn’t decline the offer.

there’s something to be said about younghoon’s attention span. the rest of the english lesson consists of him staring at kevin’s drawing, barely lifting his eyes from the sheet to watch the instructor. (and then there’s kevin, too, who doesn’t quite know how to spell _marshmallow_ in korean, but quietly observes younghoon anyway.)

——

hyunjoon appears in front of kevin, looking perfectly groomed and polished. “hyung, you’re up.” he switches places with kevin, using his phone to check his hair.

putting away his phone, kevin heads over to the salon chair. the stylist is waiting for him, so he greets her with an amiable grin. she’d done his hair for the “i’m your boy” shoot as well, so he’s familiar with her. he chats casually, asking about her son and her family’s recent trip to europe. she tells him that her son is learning how to read, she was able to visit the leaning tower of pisa, don’t leave your mouth open when there’s hairspray in the air, kevin, goodness. kevin coughs, chuckling, and changmin next to him muffles a snort.

once she’s done styling his hair, she sends kevin away to fetch the next member. he pokes jacob awake, where he’s napping on the couch, using younghoon’s shoulder as a headrest. jacob rubs his eyes and high-fives him as they trade places. kevin pulls out his phone and airpods to continue watching _moana_ , where it’s left open on netflix.

“i like your hair,” younghoon comments. he hasn’t gotten styled yet, so his own hair falls flat against his forehead.

“i feel fluffy,” kevin says. he shakes his head, his hair bouncing. “like a... pomeranian.”

“you look like a real k-pop star.” younghoon gently presses his hand onto kevin’s hair, careful not to mess with it too much. it tickles.

“when i was in canada, i wanted to dye my hair,” kevin confesses. younghoon hums. “silver. do you think that would look good?”

“silver would look nice. maybe blue!” younghoon peers at kevin’s phone. “can i watch? i like this movie.”

kevin offers him one of his airpods.

when jacob returns, humming a b-side from the boyz’s album-to-be, he tells younghoon that it’s his turn. younghoon tries to shoo him away, entranced with maui’s first encounter with moana, but he gets a scolding from sangyeon, who’s getting up to get styled as well. kevin pauses the movie and promises not to play it until younghoon comes back. thankfully, younghoon is persuaded. kevin needs to catch up on _shameless_ anyway.

——

cooking has become one of kevin’s favorite pastimes. ever since _flower snack_ , it’s as if the role of “k-chef” has stuck to him like molasses. whenever he’s feeling up to it, or a member begs enough, he rolls up his sleeves and turns on the stovetop.

with an evening to spare, kevin decides that today is a good day to eat a home-cooked meal. cooking dinner for twelve definitely has its cons, but he knows that his effort is appreciated no matter what comes out of the pot. on the menu is kimchi stew, fried eggs, and instant white rice, along with the leftover dumplings and chicken from takeout yesterday. he usually has someone by his side either pestering or helping him, and right now it’s the former.

“hey!”

younghoon laughs, avoiding kevin’s grasp with a skip in his step as he pops the stolen tofu into his mouth. “yummy!”

tutting his tongue, kevin tastes his stew and grimaces. “this is bland.” after adding more sesame oil and salt, he raises the ladle and gestures for younghoon to come back. “here. taste this, for real. and be honest!”

younghoon shuffles over, sips from the ladle, and smacks his lips together. “mm!” he puts out a thumbs-up. “it’s good, seriously.”

“really?”

“really.” younghoon takes another cube of tofu from the cutting board, pulling out a chair and taking a seat. “you should make this every day, kevin. i like your cooking.”

“i wouldn’t want to hog the kitchen,” kevin says. “sangyeon hyung cooks, too.”

the head of the boyz enters the kitchen, then, and peers over the stove. “hey, set up camp here, for all i care.” he tastes the stew, kevin offering it from the ladle, and his eyes light up. “wow, man, you’ve outdone yourself!”

kevin smiles, bashful. “aw, stop it.”

“you’ll make a fine husband,” sunwoo shouts, somewhere from the living room.

“true, but dinner isn’t ready yet!” sangyeon responds back. quieter, he asks kevin, “can i just have this for myself?”

“hyung!” younghoon cries. “it’s a serving for _twelve._ ”

“that’s a no,” kevin chuckles.

sangyeon shrugs. “geez. guess i’ll go call the kids. dinner time!”

sunwoo screams, indignant, “what the— hyung, you liar!”

dinner in the boyz dorm is hectic. half of them fit in the kitchen, the other half in the living room. the meal is served canteen-style, everyone getting their own portions, one at a time. they play _running man_ on the tv loud enough for everyone to hear, even though there are also five different conversations happening at once. kevin sticks next to changmin, discussing the latest season of _american horror story_ that the dancer has started. sunwoo catches the words “murder” and “demons” and promptly escapes to the nearest bedroom.

after haknyeon and chanhee wash the dishes, the boyz have a five-minute talk. nothing is really outstanding; everyone is just tired from schedules and thankful kevin cooked for them. when all is said and done, the members get up and get ready for bed. before kevin can, though, younghoon grabs onto his wrist.

“let’s make cookies, kevin,” he suggests. “i can help you!”

kevin glances at the clock. _11:39 p.m._ “now?” younghoon nods, chipper. “um, we probably don’t have all the ingredients, and it’s getting late...”

“oh.” the disappointment is seen on younghoon’s face and heard in his voice. it’s a bit funny but also makes kevin feel guilty.

“hyung, you know what? maybe next time. tomorrow, okay? we can go out shopping for ingredients.”

the megawatt smile on younghoon’s face causes kevin to laugh. how can he be so excited for cookies?

——

“what did the horse say after it fell on the ground?”

younghoon has a blank look on his face. after the v-live session that he and kevin shared with multilingual jokes galore, he’s been asking kevin to tell more. while it’s absolutely hilarious on kevin’s part, for younghoon it’s more like a lesson in english via puns. as they sit together in the waiting room, half an hour before call-time, kevin waits for younghoon to finish processing the joke.

“i don’t know,” younghoon finally decides, defeated.

kevin phrases the answer entirely in english. “help! i can’t _giddy up_.” he slaps his knee, laughing even as younghoon’s blank look remains.

after kevin explains the meaning in korean, complete with the gestures for riding a horse, younghoon lets out a short, single-syllable laugh. kevin doesn’t think he gets it, but younghoon looks satisfied.

“well, i like your jokes,” the older member declares.

kevin is skeptical. he narrows his eyes and asks, “even when you don’t understand them?”

“ _especially_ when i don’t understand them.”

so kevin tells another, and younghoon laughs again after he explains it, even though the punchline gets lost in translation and eric threatens to trip them during the next dance break for all the bad puns.

——

surprisingly enough, there is no schedule today. even monster rookies need days off — no pre-recording, no variety show filming, no practice. all there is on the agenda is rest and relaxation.

when the boyz get rare days like these, each of the members spends it a different way. eric sleeps until noon. juyeon, jacob, and sangyeon go to the han river to play basketball. changmin watches his shows, and sunwoo studies with haknyeon. it depends on the weather and how they’re all feeling, really, but they follow similar trends.

kevin, like changmin, watches his shows but in the living room, because his shows normally don’t involve as much blood and gore. chanhee decides to go out, dressed casually, and floats around the dorm to recruit companions.

“who wants to go shopping with me?” he asks, resulting in a lovely chorus of crickets. “please, boyz, don’t all volunteer at once.”

“hyung, i’ll go,” hyunjoon says, after chanhee continues being a nuisance for another five minutes.

chanhee claps his hands, excited. as he and hyunjoon head to the door, he stops in the living room and asks, “younghoon hyung? kevin? last call.”

younghoon has been lounging on sunwoo’s makeshift bed (three stacked blankets) for the last hour. wearing his glasses and sweatpants, kevin is watching _the good place_ on the couch. both of them are content where they presently are, younghoon scrolling through the fancafe and kevin mid-season. it’s not likely that either of them will get up anytime soon, so kevin responds, “no, i’ll stay,” and younghoon nods, agreeing with him.

“suit yourselves.” chanhee hums, looping his arm through hyunjoon’s. “have fun lazing about, you two. make sure to stay hydrated.”

chanhee’s advice in mind, kevin sets glasses of ice water for himself and younghoon on the table before resuming his show. after a few episodes, he decides to take a break from it and rewatch _mamma mia!_ for the tenth time. he listens along to the music as he scrolls through instagram, catching up on his feed. younghoon, who doesn’t care for the english audio, simply enjoys the melodies of amanda seyfried and meryl streep, his feet bopping in the air to the beat.

“hey,” younghoon says, causing kevin to look down at him. his head is propped up with his hand, and he’s pointing at kevin. “i like your earrings.”

“these ones?” kevin instinctively touches his ear, moving the earring between his fingers. the earrings are plain, glossy black, and he’d found them in his jewelry box yesterday. “juyeon got them for me, i think. for my birthday.”

“hm...”

in the next moment, younghoon rolls off the bed and heads into one of the bedrooms. kevin watches him go, only a little confused, and goes back to watching the movie.

when younghoon returns, shuffling on his knees, he stops in front of kevin, smile wide. he doesn’t speak, which causes kevin to turn his attention away from his laptop and look curiously at the older member.

“yes, hyung?”

younghoon holds out his palms and proclaims, “i like these better, actually.” in his hands are kevin’s mini fidget spinner earrings, silver against his peach skin. “you should wear these instead.”

kevin doesn’t change his earrings regularly, typically switching sets biweekly. he’s only worn his current set for a day. but, with younghoon still smiling expectantly at him, kevin decides that there’s no harm in breaking routine every once in a while. he carefully removes his earrings and gives them to younghoon, who hands him the fidget spinner ones. after kevin gets them on, he wiggles his fingers in success.

“ta-dah,” he sings. “how’s it look?”

“good.” younghoon grins, standing up. “i’ll put these ones away for you!”

later, when kevin sorts through his jewelry box, he finds the earrings juyeon gifted him close to the bottom. it gets him to chuckle. he’s sure that gravity isn’t the only thing that put it down there.

——

bright and early, kevin wakes up and turns on the coffeemaker. the boyz have a full schedule today, and it’s nice to start it off with a hot cup of bean juice. the managers usually stop by starbucks to get drinks, but kevin knows that a single venti iced coffee isn’t going to do much for him.

he’s leaning against the counter, waiting for the coffee to drip, when he sees a tall figure approach. it’s younghoon, long-sleeves over his hands, as he drags his feet into the kitchen to open the fridge. he doesn’t acknowledge kevin, who watches him, amused, as the older member stares listlessly at the shelves of food.

“good morning, hyung,” kevin says.

as expected, younghoon startles. he blinks sleepily, nods, and heads over to kevin, suddenly wrapping his arms around the younger member’s waist and perching his chin on his shoulder. this is a habit he has, kevin has noticed, mostly with changmin or chanhee. younghoon is unexpectedly clingy, but kevin doesn’t mind it. sometimes it’s a nice feeling, being in someone’s arms, safe. younghoon gives nice hugs, too.

kevin rubs circles onto younghoon’s back. “have you washed up yet?”

younghoon shakes his head. “nope.”

“are you planning to?”

“yeah.” younghoon doesn’t move.

“are you sure?” kevin asks, and younghoon nods, again, unmoving. kevin snorts. “go, hyung. i’ll pour you some coffee after you’re done.”

younghoon sighs. he squeezes kevin once and lets go, pouting. “okay.” he walks off to the bathroom, slouching and rubbing his stomach.

the other members wake up, too, slowly but surely. sangyeon greets kevin from across the room; jacob waves mindlessly. when haknyeon leaves the bedroom, he almost steps on sunwoo, who continues to snore away, unbothered. since only two or three can fit in it at a time, they all have to take turns in the bathroom. hyunjoon and eric rock-paper-scissors to see who’s last, resulting in eric’s loss. he sulks in the corner like a kid in timeout while hyunjoon snickers, shutting the door.

all in all, a normal morning in the dorm.

when younghoon returns from washing, he sits at the kitchen table and hums cheerily as kevin fills his mug. kevin adds in a little bit of sugar and the tiniest bit of french vanilla creamer to make the beverage complete. to his own mug, he leaves it black and does a quick cheers with younghoon.

“i like your coffee,” younghoon says between sips.

“thanks, it’s the folgers brand.”

younghoon rolls his eyes. “still good.”

——

the song ends, which means eleven out of the twelve members drop to the cold, wooden floorboards while sangyeon goes to stop the music. it’s one of those days— nights, actually. practice runs late, towards the single digits of the hour. everyone is exhausted but not enough to warrant going back to the dorm. they power through, sharing water bottles and towels. some of them can even nap for minutes at a time, which is the level of control kevin wants to achieve one day.

for now, all he does is lie on the ground and count the ceiling lights. his legs ache, the tolerable pain of hard work and improvement. at his side, younghoon has found amusement poking at kevin’s abdomen, trying to see if he squirms. unlike juyeon, who wriggles at even the most minute touch, kevin isn’t exceptionally ticklish. when younghoon’s hand reaches near his navel, kevin holds his breath and tries not to laugh.

“i don’t have any muscle there,” he says, distracting himself. “no six-pack. only a one-pack. it’s all soft.”

younghoon pats kevin’s stomach. “i like your soft tummy.” he lays his head on it, expression blissful. “makes for a good pillow.”

kevin feels warm. “gross, hyung, you’re sweaty.”

“ _you’re_ sweaty,” younghoon counters.

“you’re _more_ sweaty.”

the back-and-forth doesn’t last very long. the both of them are tired; arguing senselessly doesn’t help their stamina. younghoon stops poking kevin and just lies on his stomach, humming so that kevin can feel the vibrations throughout his body. it’s calming, strangely enough, and kevin thinks he could fall asleep with the sensation if jaehyun hadn’t ruined everyone’s break by screaming at the top of his lungs.

“GET UP! we’re practicing one more time! LOOK ALIVE!”

the collective groans filter through kevin’s brain as _big mood._ he nudges younghoon off him and struggles to sit up, joints and nerves protesting with every movement.

“last one in formation buys ice cream!” eric yells, and _that_ gets everyone scrambling.

kevin is baffled that he gets into place before younghoon does. it’s still a mess, where kevin stumbles over younghoon’s ankle and practically rolls into position. he’s maybe half a second faster, but that’s the difference between eleventh and twelfth.

“oooh, younghoon hyung!” haknyeon jeers cheekily. “i’ll have chrysanthemum bread!”

“fine,” younghoon huffs. he smacks his lips together and glances back, catching kevin’s eye. he sticks his tongue out at him and, naturally, kevin does the same.

younghoon buys the ice cream for everyone the next day. kevin shares his tub of coffee-flavored haagen-daz with him, because younghoon had been too heartbroken at how many bills he’d pulled from his wallet to get his own. he feeds younghoon with his spoon and says, “thank you for the treat, hyung.” younghoon sighs, eating sadly.

——

“kevin, are you awake?”

the question alone wouldn’t have woken him, but there’s a hand on his shoulder that sends a chill down his spine. it’s cold. as kevin blinks his eyes open, he slowly starts to recognize the figure sitting on the edge of his bed.

“now i am.” kevin pushes himself up and squints. he can’t see without his glasses, but he’s not about to clamor around looking for them. he stifles a yawn and asks, “what do you need, younghoon hyung?”

“can... can you do me a favor?” younghoon rubs his eyes, places his hand atop kevin’s. “kiss me, please.”

the request doesn’t completely register in kevin’s mind. and yet, his body moves first to meet younghoon halfway. kevin’s mouth is dry from sleep, but younghoon doesn’t care. he kisses kevin carefully and purposefully, presses forward until kevin presses back. it’s been so long since kevin’s kissed someone, and his mind is flooded with _younghoon younghoon younghoon_ at every touch of the lips. his fingers fist the front of younghoon’s shirt; younghoon’s hand comes to cup kevin’s cheek. what had once felt cold heats kevin to the core, and he kisses younghoon again, and again, until he’s forgotten how to breathe.

when they part, kevin finds himself missing the contact. he remembers where they are, in a bedroom with unconscious group mates, and tries not to listen to how fast his heart races. he tries so hard not to look at younghoon, but it happens and— even in the darkness, kevin can tell how far gone younghoon is, face flushed and breath unsteady.

kevin doesn’t know what to make of it.

“why did you want that?” he whispers. he wonders who he’s asking.

younghoon’s hand brushes against kevin’s cheek. “because i like you.” right after he says it, he shoots up and sprints out of the room, only pausing briefly to say a timid “goodnight” by the doorway.

because drowsiness weighs more than confusion, kevin doesn’t follow him. he’s tired and doesn’t want to think. he tucks himself under his sheets, closes his eyes, and falls back asleep.

——

and then kevin wakes up, murmuring, “holy crap.” no one else is awake besides him, so he takes a few minutes, lying in bed, to recollect his thoughts.

younghoon had kissed him. kevin had kissed back. that had to have happened, had to have been real. kevin’s dreams are never so vivid or tangible. he had felt younghoon’s hands and lips. he had _felt_ light-headed and restless, could only think of younghoon in that moment.

but, _but_ — it was in _that moment._ he’s aware that younghoon has real feelings for him, but what about kevin? what does _he_ feel?

after enough self-reflection, kevin throws off his blanket and puts on his glasses. he marches to the living room (careful of sunwoo on the floor), plants himself on the couch, and waits. and waits. waits and waits. he should’ve taken his phone off the charger to do this, huh.

finally, younghoon and juyeon come out of the bedroom. they’re talking low, having just woken up, and are heading to wash. younghoon takes one look at kevin, eyes widening, and darts into the bathroom. before younghoon can stop him, kevin barges in and locks the door. outside, juyeon says, slightly muffled, “yeah, uh. okay.”

younghoon is, unsurprisingly, cowering near the toilet. he looks like he wants to drown himself, except the dorm only has one shower that doesn’t hold more than five centimeters of water. he’s doing that thing he does with his hands, folded in front of him. it sort of looks cute... but at the same time kind of pathetic. kevin would pinch his cheek if he wasn’t so frustrated.

“hyung.” kevin crosses his arms. “you can’t do stuff like that.”

younghoon shifts nervously. “w-what are you talking about?”

kevin _knows_ he knows. he’s not about to come out of this discussion being _duped_ by younghoon, of all people. “last night. in my bedroom.” he pushes up his glasses, for effect. “don’t play dumb.”

“i was sleepwalking,” younghoon tries, to no avail. kevin squints. “it— it was a ghost. a ghost that looked a lot like me. wait, i was possessed _by_ a ghost, which made me—”

“younghoon hyung, stop.”

panicked, younghoon caves. “okay, so there was no ghost. and i stopped sleepwalking when i was ten, so that was also a lie.” he bites his lip. “i’m— i’m sorry. i just. i just wanted to kiss you so bad, kevin. all of a sudden— no, for a long time! i really like you, i do, but... i understand your feelings. it won’t happen again.”

“why not?”

younghoon blinks, puzzled. “you... told me... not to... i think?”

“hyung, you woke me up at three a.m., we made out, and then you confessed to me. i was eighty-percent sure i was in a dream. a good dream, but a dream nonetheless.”

“sorry...?”

“i liked kissing you,” kevin says, “but i don’t know if that means i like you the same way you like me.”

a slow, excited grin blooms onto younghoon’s face. “that’s okay!” he grabs kevin’s hands, squeezing them tightly. “i like your everything, kevin, so it’ll balance. we can figure out your feelings together.”

kevin thinks it’s funny, how quick younghoon is to offer. “really?” he prompts.

“ _really._ i’m gonna kiss you now.”

“no,” kevin declares firmly, and it’s almost sadistic how much he enjoys the swift downfall of younghoon’s expression. “you’re gonna brush your teeth, i’m gonna let juyeon back in here, and we’re gonna take things slow. okay?”

younghoon sighs. “okay,” he grumbles, pouting. kevin kisses him on the cheek, as a consolation, and he giggles.

when kevin and younghoon leave the bathroom, all fresh and clean, juyeon is waiting outside, cross-legged, against the wall.

“i don’t know what happened in there, but i _really_ had to pee. i don’t think you should ruin the flow of bathroom privileges, kevin.”

younghoon, arms hooking around kevin’s shoulders, trills, “won’t happen again.”

(it happens again, twice, with jacob and jaehyun, who are more or less forgiving.)

——

kevin likes hearing someone call his name across the waiting room. it’s always younghoon, finding him amongst the others. the older member latches onto him, and they monitor the rehearsal stage side-by-side. kevin gives advice for younghoon and even points out his mistakes, while younghoon tries his hardest to find a flaw with kevin’s performance. when he can’t, he complains and kevin has to tell him that he’s human, too, despite what he shows on camera. whiny, younghoon refuses to leave kevin alone until they’ve watched every rehearsal _ever_. kevin doesn’t actually mind; younghoon plays with the hair behind his ear the whole time, and it feels nice.

kevin likes working on his hobbies in his freetime. when it’s calligraphy, he sits down at his desk in the company building, listening to the same song on repeat, a brush pen in one hand and younghoon drawing clouds on the other. when it’s photography, kevin bundles up in his warmest coat and goes on a walk with younghoon, capturing migrating birds and hibernating flowers, mellow sunsets and hidden smiles, all with the lens of his iphone. when it’s binge-watching netflix series (which is a _very_ legitimate hobby), kevin sits on the floor and between younghoon’s knees as they watch on kevin’s laptop — a show with english audio and korean captions, when available.

kevin likes greeting the morning with kisses and the subtle scent of roses. he’s always the one to get up first, so he sneaks into the other bedroom and kisses younghoon awake. it’s peaceful, easy, and younghoon is the most honest half-asleep. he doesn’t stop himself from muttering, “thanks for letting me fall for you,” or whining when kevin refuses to drop onto the bed and cuddle. sometimes, kevin will open his eyes to a weight on his chest, where younghoon rests, content, and can’t bring it in him to make coffee. younghoon’s bed stays vacant more often than not, and the other members don’t even bat an eyelash anymore.

they’re a work-in-process, a chapter under revision, and kevin thinks that he’s getting used to all the affection. not in a bad way, but he can tell when younghoon needs a comforting pat on the head, a long kiss to the neck, a subtle brush of their hands. kevin recognizes it all, welcoming the contact, and wants to give even more than he gets.

so, in conclusion, kevin realizes he’s beginning to like younghoon’s everything, too.


End file.
